some kind of singing

love is like breathing. the miracle of a heart that pumps without reminding and lungs that draw air of their own accord. this year the trick is somehow expanding my insides to contain all the love without bursting without busting. without literally squeezing everything into a mash in my belly so that i have to shit or explode. a few days ago by the shore and a tent my heart felt as though it would jump right out and swim. and swim and sip in the sea and the sun and the pelican swoop so that i became transparent. so that the great joy of just being wouldn't split my seams. i let it fly right through me. through and into and out of. i became a piece of the sea and sea flowed into me. because essentially we are the same. me and you and all of us. are the same stuff in a short term sort of form. and so love is like this. it is like breathing and farting and blowing and bungalowing. it is just a rush of life stuff. it is being alive. i feel blessed to be living. right now and right now and right now. and right till the big mysterious who knows what comes next. right until then. and maybe into that too. i surrender. it is easy and terrifying and i am ready to rush into the waves again. and again. and again.